Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow .........

Okay so today was the day I had been waiting for - back to surgeon for the results and post -op check!!!

So far this week has required a lot of resting and holding back on activity!!
It is quite frustrating not being able to do the things you are used to!! I am still having a fair amount of pain and discomfort and had been watching a seroma grow under my arm these last few days and was actually looking forward to having a needle stuck in me to drain of the fluid! Amazing what I now look forward to hehe!!

I have joined the BCNA website (breast cancer australia network) where you can connect with other pink ladies!! I have been in communication with a couple of ladies already on the road - it is a great source of information, support and encouragement for the road ahead!!
It is quite incredible to think that in years gone by or indeed in a different setting women would not have been able to connect in this way - what a priviledge to have access to all this info at my finger tips!!

So we arrived at the hospital - I always find it quite emotive going there - when I am home on the farm I can live in my green bubble of tranquility but going to the hospital I am confronted with the reality of my illness and weakness of my body!
We sat again outside the outpatient cubicle waiting for a number to be called - a rather detached nurse called us in to the Drs room where we waited for at least 10 mins - would have been far less anxiety provoking to sit outside with the magazines and tv to distract us rather that sit alone in the quiet of a stark surgical office!!
Anyway the silence was broken when a friendly faced, young dr entered.
My surgeon was not seeing me today but he was here to drain any seroma that may have arisen!!
I had thought about what to wear before arriving today - perhaps it was the Trinny and Susanna marathon I had watched the day before!!
I was feeling quite over the stripping off topless for a string of strangers so worked out if a wore a vest I could slip of the one side and keep some dignity on the other.
I matched this with a button up cardie and scarf that draped over my flat chest - I was pretty pleased with the outcome and even more pleased that I kept some dignity whilst having my wound attended to!!

The Dr took off the dressing which wasn't too bad and then approached me with a rather large needle - thankfully I was still numb under the arm so I didnt feel it going in!
I had to laugh as he brought a rather large plastic jug over to catch the fluid - I wondered how much he intended to take. Images of me shrivelled up like a dried out prune made me giggle.
He told me to look away and off we went - 250mls later my seroma had flattened!!
I was amazed actually how much he did get - I felt so much better without it and could move my arm more easily!!
Unfortunately it seems that next week would require a repeat performance as the fluid would more than likely build up again!!

There were no pathology results to share as the long weekend had slowed that down so we would hear it all next Tuesday along with a treatment plan for the next chapter!
Initially I was a bit dissappointed but probably actually better to get an action plan with the results than do too much googling in between!!

The day concluded with a cuppa with a good friend who picked the girls up and brought them home and then once again meals on friends wheels arrived in style.
We had a yummy dinner and dessert after a relax and catch up with the clever maker and another lovely friend visiting from Sydney!!! Was nice to have some company !
It is such a treat not to worry about cooking - we would be all scrambled eggs and toasted out by now for sure!

This is a funny road - each day brings different feelings , definite ups and downs, somedays the cancer feels so close and others a distant dream.
I think in some ways I thought the recovery from the op wouldn't be as painful and yet it has been but I also realise as much as I don't want to see myself as being unwell - I am.
Although my mind is functioning ( well most of the time anyway - I hear you laughing!!) I have to accept my body is not at its best - and I have to pace myself!!
More relaxing, more reading , more music , more movies, more mess !!!!

I am determined to keep dancing in the rain whenever possible!!

'Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic' Rosalind Russell.

xx

2 comments:

  1. Hello my dearest darling daughter , I indeed think you are a mighty woman and am so proud of you . I wish I could be there to see your sparkling eyes and show some comfort and hold you close to my breast so you might feel the heart beat of my love for you . You are my one and only precious daughter and I shall always have you in my heart until my last breath . You will come through this ordeal and yet see and understand God's ways . Stay strong and remember Jesus holds you in His loving hands and will never let you go . God bless . Dad

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  2. precious friend, sorry I haven't been in touch the last few weeks, been a bit out of the picture after getting home and end of hols etc...thinking of you still and will keep praying, you are an amazing lady...and God is so holding you precious girl! lots of Love xxx

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