Friday, 15 April 2011

Under The Shadow of His wings!

Well 3 more sleeps!!

The aneathesist  told me on Tuesday to keep busy up until surgery on Monday - so I took her at her word and we have had a whirlwind of a week.

Wednesday we had a delightful morning watching Rio at the movies with a dear friend and her 2 littlies who had never watched a movie on the big screen before. It was great  -all singing and dancing hehe x What fun to watch the wonder in their faces as they munched away on popcorn in boxes almost as big as they were.
Lunch at maccas and then a quick cuppa with another friend before taking Caitlin to horseriding!!
I was so pooped by the end of it I think I was in bed by about 8.30pm!!!

The next day was filled with washing, grocery shopping, dvd hiring for the girls, hair-trim and eyebrow waxing!! Thought I better throw that in the mix - get rid of the hairy caterpillars before d-day !!
We went out for a lovely family meal together - good food, wine and laughter!!

Today was the cherry on the top - a beautiful day filled with sunshine - we took ourselves off to the beach - what a pleasure to be in the sea with the girls and B. The hours flitted by and we had a lovely walk headed for ice-creams as the sun went down.
It is quite funny how conversation about mastectomy and prosthesis has become very natural in our family - we had more jokes today about making sure my prosthesis would be secure whilst swimming otherwise it might be a bit awkward to ask the lifeguards if they could help me rescue my breast !!!
Home for pizza and Prince Caspian!!
A day that has been so good for the soul x

Keeping busy has been great but I am aware that Monday is fast approaching!
I still in many ways can't believe that I really have cancer - it is all quite surreal - I have been for a multitude of tests , seen a number of Drs, have had people cry with me , have cried by myself , willingly signed consent to have my breast removed - it is all quite unreal!!
As I was swimming in the sea today - I was thinking about how that it would be the last time that my body would be in the sea as it is now!
Although that was a sobering thought , I was also struck by how rich my life is - there I was on this amazing beach with my beautiful family - knowing I have friends who genuinely love and care for me , a home in surroundings I have always dreamt of and I have access to a hospital where I can be treated and I thought how full my glass truely is!
Losing part of my body is a huge challenge I had not expected yet I just kept thinking today that we always have to look at the bigger picture!!
My worth, my femininity , my person is not in that part that will be lost but indeed in the part that is left behind!!
I am writing this knowing there may be times ahead where I don't feel this so strongly, but I can read this again and remind myself of what is true!!

This rollercoaster doesn't come with a steering wheel - so I am riding it one day at a time - trying to see the glass half full and not half empty!
I am going where it takes me as I am not driving but even on the cloudiest stretch I yearn to find some sunlight.

A friend sent this to me today :
He will shield you with His wings.
He will shelter you with His feathers
His faithful promises are your armour and protection.

How beautiful is that - how I want to shelter under the shadow of His wing .......


  1. We are all counting down the days too Debs and waiting in the wings for a time when you might need us. He will keep you sheltered under His wings.

  2. Love you lots my darling daughter and am thinking about you and praying for you every day . love you lots and always . DaD XXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOO

  3. Your femininity is absolutely tied up in your heart and your soul. It is the essence of your being and removing a breast will never take that away. You will forever be the same beautiful, caring, loving and loyal woman that you are right now. Love you lots. Steph xoxoxoxo

  4. precious and very beautiful remain the same always no matter what remain you, that is who we love. Love to you and your precious girls and B at this time. Praying for you xxx with all our love xxx