Friday, 15 April 2011

Under The Shadow of His wings!

Well 3 more sleeps!!

The aneathesist  told me on Tuesday to keep busy up until surgery on Monday - so I took her at her word and we have had a whirlwind of a week.

Wednesday we had a delightful morning watching Rio at the movies with a dear friend and her 2 littlies who had never watched a movie on the big screen before. It was great  -all singing and dancing hehe x What fun to watch the wonder in their faces as they munched away on popcorn in boxes almost as big as they were.
Lunch at maccas and then a quick cuppa with another friend before taking Caitlin to horseriding!!
I was so pooped by the end of it I think I was in bed by about 8.30pm!!!

The next day was filled with washing, grocery shopping, dvd hiring for the girls, hair-trim and eyebrow waxing!! Thought I better throw that in the mix - get rid of the hairy caterpillars before d-day !!
We went out for a lovely family meal together - good food, wine and laughter!!

Today was the cherry on the top - a beautiful day filled with sunshine - we took ourselves off to the beach - what a pleasure to be in the sea with the girls and B. The hours flitted by and we had a lovely walk headed for ice-creams as the sun went down.
It is quite funny how conversation about mastectomy and prosthesis has become very natural in our family - we had more jokes today about making sure my prosthesis would be secure whilst swimming otherwise it might be a bit awkward to ask the lifeguards if they could help me rescue my breast !!!
Home for pizza and Prince Caspian!!
A day that has been so good for the soul x

Keeping busy has been great but I am aware that Monday is fast approaching!
I still in many ways can't believe that I really have cancer - it is all quite surreal - I have been for a multitude of tests , seen a number of Drs, have had people cry with me , have cried by myself , willingly signed consent to have my breast removed - it is all quite unreal!!
As I was swimming in the sea today - I was thinking about how that it would be the last time that my body would be in the sea as it is now!
Although that was a sobering thought , I was also struck by how rich my life is - there I was on this amazing beach with my beautiful family - knowing I have friends who genuinely love and care for me , a home in surroundings I have always dreamt of and I have access to a hospital where I can be treated and I thought how full my glass truely is!
Losing part of my body is a huge challenge I had not expected yet I just kept thinking today that we always have to look at the bigger picture!!
My worth, my femininity , my person is not in that part that will be lost but indeed in the part that is left behind!!
I am writing this knowing there may be times ahead where I don't feel this so strongly, but I can read this again and remind myself of what is true!!

This rollercoaster doesn't come with a steering wheel - so I am riding it one day at a time - trying to see the glass half full and not half empty!
I am going where it takes me as I am not driving but even on the cloudiest stretch I yearn to find some sunlight.

A friend sent this to me today :
He will shield you with His wings.
He will shelter you with His feathers
His faithful promises are your armour and protection.

How beautiful is that - how I want to shelter under the shadow of His wing .......

4 comments:

  1. We are all counting down the days too Debs and waiting in the wings for a time when you might need us. He will keep you sheltered under His wings.
    xx

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  2. Love you lots my darling daughter and am thinking about you and praying for you every day . love you lots and always . DaD XXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOO

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  3. Your femininity is absolutely tied up in your heart and your soul. It is the essence of your being and removing a breast will never take that away. You will forever be the same beautiful, caring, loving and loyal woman that you are right now. Love you lots. Steph xoxoxoxo

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  4. precious and very beautiful friend...you remain the same always no matter what happens...you remain you, that is who we love. Love to you and your precious girls and B at this time. Praying for you xxx with all our love xxx

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