My life has taken an unexpected turn and I was encouraged to put it down to help with the journey - so here goes.
I am not too sure where to begin really - the last couple of years have had their peaks and troughs - we moved to Australia almost 4 years ago and landed in the most beautiful part of the world. It felt like paradise to us having spent 11 years in the UK. The sun was so bright, the beaches absolutely stunning, picturesque mountains and all that had to offer at our finger tips.
A new adventure had begun ....
This adventure certainly had its challenges - I had a miscarriage in the first year of being here and then the following year found out that I was in early menopause - my poor family had to put up with a crazy woman until this was sorted out - I didnt recognise myself - thank goodness I have a wonderful GP who got to the bottom of it all and I started some hormonal treatment to get me back on track.
It was in the midst of all of this at the end of 2009 that I first felt a breast lump. I was sent to have it checked and had a mammogram and ultrasound - was given the all clear and told to return in 2 years!!!
Life continued on - we moved from our new housing estate home to an old ramshackled Queensland cottage on some acreage. Our own little piece of heaven - lots to do but a dream come true for us. We added some cows and goats to the mix - there a few stories to tell there also!!
This last year I was battling with my hormones again - just not feeling right - at the beginning of 2011 - I started HRT - I must say there was a bit of a mind struggle accepting menopause and HRT - I felt like I was getting old before my time.
In the last few months I had felt like the lump was growing in size so a couple of weeks ago I raised my concerns with my GP.
At first she was pretty relaxed and said ok lets just check it and see if we wait for followup this Nov or do another mammogram etc.
Well after checking it she became quite serious and said I need to go that week for a mammogram and ultrasound!!
I was going to Sydney for the weekend so I decided I would make the appointment for the Monday morning that I returned.
Deep down I knew something was up - I went to a womens conference and when I was away I found another lump - this was strange as I hadnt known there were 2 - so I knew something was changing.
I returned from my weekend away refreshed and centred - and really I think I had been prepared for the battle that lay ahead!
Monday morning I had the tests - after the ultrasound - the Dr came in and said he wanted to biopsy both lumps on Wednesday. He was also very serious but would not give me specifics at that time. I went to a dear friend after and sobbed with her - I really felt the results wouldn't be good. Yet even then I had a real assurance in my heart that I would come through no matter what.
I had a large core needle biopsy done - 6 samples taken and I was sent home to wait for the results on Friday.
Funny having nursed many moons ago I just knew it wasn't good - the Doctor and ultrasound lady were handling me so tenderly as if they already knew - which I'm sure they did !!!
Well Friday came and as we sat waiting in the waiting room I was reminded of that bible verse - I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future!
It played over and over in my mind - we were called in - the news wasn't good - malignancy found in both tumors.
My new journey had begun ....................