Saturday, 9 April 2011

What a difference a day makes ......

On first meeting the breast cancer nurse she said you are on a rollarcoaster that you cant get off. Just go with it !!!
There is no stopping it now!

Well today my rollarcoaster is on the lower slope - funny how life is - have felt strong and positive these last days but I think a combination of a late night and too much internet googling has brought a sober reality to focus.

I know in a sense this is the calm before the storm - that I am having an opportunity to root myself in truth and love before the big wave hits!!
I have been so spoilt with love and care and yet as someone said, I still have to pay the price so to speak!
The decision of which way to go with the op still hangs - we have been researching all we can and need to speak to the oncologist etc for further info.
I know that no-one would openly choose to have a mastectomy if you had an other option - or maybe some would. I thought I had my head around going for full surgery but now that an alternative has been raised - I  realise that not having one has a much greater appeal - yet its not that simple.
Can you smell the wood burning ??????

So as the days move forward the weight of what is to come gets heavier! I guess its just filled with unknown elements and when you read accounts of other womens journeys - clearly its not a path you would choose.

Nevertheless we are sorting and doing this weekend and this last week of holidays I am going to have fun with my girlies!! Movies, shopping whatever we fancy!!! It is great that we can have this lovely family time before all gets going.
Its a funny thought that once this week ahead has passed that things will never be the same!
 I am not meaning that pessimistically but good and bad it will be different !!!
It really is important to grab life with both hands and make the most of every moment  - our path can take a direction that we would not have chosen!!

I was encouraged this morning as a friend in the UK who had only just found about my story sent me this.

Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand. !!

I am thankful I have this peace to see me through .................

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