I have been attempting to fill in the gaps of the days away but today I am just touched by the meaning of Good Friday.
I have been home for 2 full days now and it has been wonderful.
The sun has been shining and the surroundings of the farm are therapeutic for the soul.
I have just been watching a program on the Easter experience - reflections on the lives of those immediately around Jesus on the day of crucifixion!
A beautiful story of real lives! The commentator was saying that for those who loved Him - they may not have expected the pain and suffering in their lives! Yet this pain and suffering did not mean He could not be trusted in all things!
I am one of those real lives - I have been challenged with my circumstances to trust no matter what.
Of what value is our faith if we cannot draw upon it in pain and suffering!
This is not a road I would have chosen and I know that I am still at the beginning of it and yet I know that I am not travelling it alone. In these first steps I have had such profound and deeply positive experiences that it is as if living a life in parallel. Darkness and light !.
The night before I was going to see the surgeon to decide on whether to have to mastectomy or a more conservative option I was having trouble sleeping!
I had gone to bed but woken up again close to midnight and was having trouble getting back to sleep - I went to the computer and started to google info related to the 2 options and praying for wisdom!
As a sat there an email came through - I heard the message beep and went to have a look to see who it was from.
It was just a circular email sent from a ecard company but the little note was about fighting battles - it was filled with encouragement and hope and then just below this was a sample ecard.
All I could see was a picture of a butterfly so I clicked on it and this is what it said!
You are a fighter, a survivor
A woman of faith and strength
You are a tough opponent for any challenge
Even the big C is no match for you
because you belong to an even bigger C "Christ"
Well you can imagine how amazing it was to read this - how it had come through after midnight while I was sitting at the computer.
I went to bed and slept peacefully after that.
There is nothing like challenging circumstances to strip away our being , to leave us exposed and vulnerable yet in this can come great freedom!
The love of our heavenly father is not dictated too by circumstances - in fact in the midst of the most challenging circumstances, we can know that love more deeply than ever before!
Though a host encamp against me
My heart shall not fear
Though war rise against me
Even then I will be confident
For in the day of trouble
He will hide me in His shelter
In the secret place of His tent will He hide me
He will set me high upon a rock.....
We had some interesting goings on at the farm today but that will be a story for tomorrow.
Happy Easter ..........