Saturday, 11 June 2011

Hair today - gone tomorrow !!!!

Winter is truely upon us - apparently we are having the coldest weather since the 1920's - a bit of a shock to the system for sure!

The days are moving quickly and the day to start chemotherapy is fast approaching!
I went on Thursday to the hairdresser for the big chop!! I had felt that since I was going to lose my hair I should take the bull by the horns so to speak ! The girls were not too keen on the idea of me with short hair but I felt it would be an easy step in between.
And also what better opportunity to try a new look!
My friend J and I went armed with magazines and pictures - she had decided to get hers cut with me.
What a wonderful idea - we made it into an event.
If we hadnt been picking the girls up from school afterwards we would have cracked a bottle of bubbly!!

So I went first - I was a bit nervous but have to say by the time I had reached this day I was feeling quite excited. Going to the Look Good, Feel good workshop had really helped me in terms of getting my head in the right space - and place hehe .
My hairdresser and J were saying how good it looked etc as she was cutting it - very encouraging ohs and ahs!
Before long I felt like I was looking at a completely different person in the mirror!
It is amazing to see how a hairstyle can change your face.
I looked at the person looking back at me in the mirror and thought yes this person will make it through the challenges ahead - I felt somewhat liberated having taken this step.
I know that my life will never be the same and there was something poignant about seeing the pile of hair on the floor that had once been mine - cutting off the old and taking a step in the new!
J was next and in no time at all - she had been transformed also - and she looked amazing!!
There had been lots of fun and laughter in the hairdresser that afternoon - a very positive atmosphere!

Then we left to get the girls!
Well their faces were completely shocked when they saw us - my girls were at a loss for words and looked like they were going to burst into tears!
Neither said very much - C just gave me the tightest hug!
The car journey home was very quiet - my eldest daughter was struggling to look me in the eye! For them my haircut wasn't just a new look but a symbol of me having cancer and being unwell.
I am so sorry they are being forced to walk this road - it is not easy for them.
My usually bubbly happy C is facing some hardship at school -friendship issues at 9 have been so challenging -homeschooling is taking on a whole new appeal hehe - I know that underlying it all is the effect that this road is having on her. She is finding it hard to cope with her mum being unwell - her  world is being shaken up we had a long chat with many tears yesterday - from both of us I have to say - but thankfully we ended in laughter and lots of cuddles!

That night S whisked me out for a bit of shopping - actually I was hoping to look at the boobs!!
What a giggle - never been shopping for a boob before. One of the shops advertised they sold the proper prosthesis for mastectomy patients so we headed there for a look. The assistant looked right past us as we hovered waiting to be helped - and when I eventually caught her attention and explained our quest - she suddenly became very self concious and awkward. Apparently you had to make an appointment as the boob lady wasn't always there !!!
So that was the end of that search.
We headed to another shop to look at caps, scarves etc - trying on the caps was okay but standing in the middle of the store trying to twist on a headscarf was quite another matter.
S and I had teary eyes as the reality of my new fashion accessories hit home !!
What a ride we are on !!
Still a night out with a good friend is therapy for the soul - with next week approaching we were topping up my tank in advance - it was a great time.

The next morning J who had her hair cut with me took me to breakfast at a cafe near the beach - although very cold the sun was shining and the sky was blue.
There is just something magnificent about the ocean. We had a wonderful brekkie and another friend just happened to walk in alone so she joined us and we had a great time together lingering over our food and coffee .
Another top up for the tank!!
I had also spent a morning earlier in the week shopping with B who has an amazing eye for interior design - we had such fun talking about how to give my home a kiss of lipstick!!
We have a few ideas for the months ahead - so by December hopefully the kiss will be in place!!

I have had an incredibly busy week between hospital appointments and "tank top ups"and have to say I am physically exhausted but feel so blessed to have friends in my world who are topping up my emotional tank for the challenge of next week.

Today we went to the local farmers market and C went to a flower stall and returned with a beautiful bunch of gerberas for me - she had bought them for me with her own money!
She has such a wonderful heart and so sensitive - what a blessing to me!
The girls spent today with a wonderful family couple - they cuddled under the duvet at her house and watched movies together.
I am so thankful to have people in our lives who care for the girls and are able to help them in a difficult time.

B and I and Granny and Grandpa did a whirl around the shops on the search for heaters, blinds etc.
It is absolutely freezing here at the moment - very uncharacteristic - we feel like we are back in the UK.
The big buy of the day was a mini chainsaw - eek - we are needing lots of firewood to burn and B has been collecting and chopping from all over the farm.
This will certainly be a timesaving asset! However I shall have to be minding my P's and Q's from now on. hehe

So we are about to snuggle up infront of the TV for a family movie - Grandpa is whisking up a stew in the slow/fast cooker!
The scene is set for a cosy night in with my precious family.
I am so thankful for them ....

1 comment:

  1. I am so proud of you but also very sad I am not with you as I read your story . I am touched as I read of your courage and your friends who are with you . Know I love you and you will come through this and your hair loss if any will grow back again . Love you lots . your Dad XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO