Well here I sit in bed on Day 5 after my first Chemo.
I have so much to be thankful for ! I have been hit with a few side effects but nothing like I had anticipated!
The last couple of days I have just felt as I have lost the wind from under my sails!
I have spent the days in bed snoozing - what a luxury!!
I have followed all the instructions I was given , drinking gallons of water, mouthwashing, moisturising, lip balming, plain ,small and frequent meals, taking meds etc.
I have never spent so much time on myself - it is a strange sort of road this mystery tour as each day brings something new.
Last night I couldn't sleep as I felt like I had run a marathon and my body was reaping the rewards - well I can pretend at least!!
My husband thought it hilarious the very thought of me running a marathon - how rude!! hehe
The girls have taken it all in their stride so far - I think we are all relieved just to get past the first step!
It has actually been good for us all to just relax together - the weather has been on our side - glorious winter sun and clear blue skies which I can see from my window!
I have tried to get a little fresh air every day - although my body is not managing much activity!
I think multiple trips to the loo must surely count as exercise!!
It is school holidays here at the moment and friends have rallied to take the girls out and about in between!
I am thanking God daily that this has been manageable so far - I have heard so many terrible stories - yet why should we be surprised that prayer is answered when it is happening on my behalf all over the world.
Whenever negative thoughts try to creep in I listen to / read something contrary to that!
' He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the Shadow of the Almighty.'
I read a quote from CS Lewis last night which said ' God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.'
Funny that we need to be in pain to hear His voice the loudest - I guess thats the only time some of us stop talking!!
The article I was reading was by a man who himself had struggled with cancer - he was talking about consciously entrusting your suffering to God.That it is not just about miserably enduring pain and hoping God sees your plight but to embrace your pain and know God is at work in you.
I can hear you thinking hmm clearly she needed a lot of work!! A work in progress for sure !
In the same article the author quoted the following from Andrew Murray - a perspective in times of struggle!
He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place. In that I will rest.
He will keep me here in His love and give me grace in this trial to behave as His child.
He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
In His good time He can bring me out again - how and when He knows.
I like that way of thinking - hand in hand with my Father I will make it - one step at a time .........