It is hard to believe that almost 5 months have passed since I was put on this rollarcoaster !! In many ways it is hard to remember what life was like before!
I had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind last night but just couldn't focus eyes or brain to put them down.
As usual the mactruck hit yesterday - as described by another pink lady - its hard to really put into words how it feels - extreme exhaustion is only part of it.
Your limbs feel like they've been filled with lead , your brain and eyesight is all a muddle , sick and bizarre feeling in mouth and tummy etc and so it goes on. So much for liquid gold!!!!
It can be hard to be positive in those days - but the surroundings here are so uplifting. I was thinking yesterday how thankful I was to be here , how proud I am of my beautiful daughters , for the friends who are in for the long-haul and indeed the fact that I still have my eye brows!!!
I see this bald person in the mirror and can't believe its me!
In a teary moment yesterday I was thinking about it all and was reminded of the words ' Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and staff comfort me!!'
I have been thinking about it and was struck that this speaks of the 'shadow' of death - a shadow is an area where the direct light from a light source cannot reach due to an obstruction.
The light has not ceased it is just obstructed - the valley is not death itself but a shadow. It reminded me once more how we need to constantly keep our eyes fixed on the Light that never changes!!
I wondered also why there was mention of the rod and the staff - the rod was an instrument of authority - used to count/guide/ rescue and protect the sheep. The staff was an instrument of support - used to comfort and reassure!!
We have an amazing shepherd who wants to keep us safe ! I am so incredibly thankful for that!!!
It is so encouraging that He just brings us what we need when we need it - I was looking through a website earlier and there were the words Deb If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it!!
I kid you not - it was there for someone else but at the moment I read them - it was as if it had been written for me!!
Although there are dark spots on this road I know that a neverceasing Light is there to guide me on my way!!
That Light is there for you too!!
And so another day will be behind me soon - another step closer to the end of this chemo!! The sun is shining gloriously here today and there are good things to come.
I am adding another little piccie from an artist I love - this caused my Abbey to double up in laughter so I think thats its well worth a screening!!!
Just incase you cant read it clearly it says " Oh pull yourself together!! "
We certainly all have those days !!!!! xx