Monday, 1 August 2011

Let your Light shine on me !!

It is hard to believe that almost 5 months have passed since I was put on this rollarcoaster !! In many ways it is hard to remember what life was like before!
I had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind last night but just couldn't focus eyes or brain to put them down.
As usual the mactruck hit yesterday - as described by another pink lady - its hard to really put into words how it feels - extreme exhaustion is only part of it.
Your limbs feel like they've been filled with lead , your brain and eyesight is all a muddle , sick and bizarre feeling in mouth and tummy etc and so it goes on. So much for liquid gold!!!!
It can be hard to be positive in those days - but the surroundings here are so uplifting. I was thinking yesterday how thankful I was to be here , how proud I am of my beautiful daughters , for the friends who are in for the long-haul and indeed the fact that I still have my eye brows!!!

I see this bald person in the mirror and can't believe its me!
 In a teary moment yesterday I was thinking about it all and was reminded of the words ' Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and staff comfort me!!'
 I have been thinking about it and was struck that this speaks of the 'shadow' of death - a shadow is an area where the direct light from a light source cannot reach due to an obstruction.
The light has not ceased it is just obstructed - the valley is not death itself but a shadow. It reminded me once more how we need to constantly keep our eyes fixed on the Light that never changes!!
I wondered also why there was mention of the rod and the staff - the rod was an instrument of authority  - used to count/guide/ rescue and protect the sheep. The staff was an instrument of support - used to comfort and reassure!!
We have an amazing shepherd who wants to keep us safe ! I am so incredibly thankful for that!!!
It is so encouraging that He just brings us what we need when we need it - I was looking through a website earlier and there were the words Deb If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it!!
I kid you not - it was there for someone else but at the moment I read them - it was as if it had been written for me!!
Although there are dark spots on this road I know that a neverceasing Light is there to guide me on my way!!
That Light is there for you too!!

And so another day will be behind me soon - another step closer to the end of this chemo!! The sun is shining gloriously here today and there are good things to come.

I am adding another little piccie from an artist I love - this caused my Abbey to double up in laughter so I think thats its well worth a screening!!!
Just incase you cant read it clearly it says " Oh pull yourself together!! "



We certainly all have those days !!!!! xx

2 comments:

  1. My Dearest Darling Daughter , What an ordeal you are going through . Indeed Jesus is our Light and Comfort in Him we can Trust , He never leaves us nor will forsake us . The smallest bird is under His caring eye how much more one of His special daughters . You shall yet see The King in His Glory . In the mean time stay strong and Thank God for all His reminders to you of His abiding Grace and presence . Love you always . Your one and only Dad XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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  2. Hi My gorgeous daughter inside and out, hang in there Mum is on the way, we will laugh together, cry together, pray together and have fun together your spirit is amazing. Rest well my Love and yes the shepherd of all creation is with you and will strengthen and guide until this journey is over and well beyond. Love you forever xxxxx

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