Friday, 15 July 2011

Headscarf Outings - hmm!!!

It is a very wintery looking and feeling day here this morning.
A good day for a movie under a cosy blanket!!
This last week the weather has been glorious - crystal blue skies and warm sun so I cant complain!!

Well after all the drama of Tuesday it has been pretty smooth sailing since then. My beautiful eldest daughter brought me tea and toast on Wednesday before she went to school - what an angel!!
I was feeling so much better and ready for action. I really wanted to achieve something and my energy levels were up so I gave the kitchen a good sort out as well as my pantry cupboard . It was beginning to look as if everytime the door was opened something had just been thrown in!!
It may seem a trivial achievement - but when you have been flat on your back for days - anything achieved is worth celebrating!!
I had a peaceful day at home just pottering and doing a few usual bits and pieces - felt great!!

Miss C was being taken by a friend to horseriding and Miss A was been collected by another and they were going for a spot of grocery shopping!
Before long the shoppers had returned - Barbs said A was a whizz at getting everything and was even watching the prices - thats my girl.
We all shared a cuppa and laughed together as we shared again the shennanigans of the night before!! Then barbs headed home.
Much later B and Miss C returned and we all shared dinner together!

Yesterday I had to go to an appointment and so was planning what to wear - it was to be my first public outing without my hair so all felt a bit strange.
I had worn a headscarf on the weekend but that was to someones home who themselves were hair free - this was a whole new experience.
I settled on something , spent ages twisting the scarf into some sort of headcovering and off I went.
When I put on my sunglasses I looked like I had stepped out of an old hollywood movie set - what a laugh.
At least that was better than a fortune teller!!!

So after my appointment I thought I would bravely head down into our local shopping centre as I needed something from the chemist!
Well what an experience.
As I was walking through you sort of just feel yourself - but soon you realise you aren't.
I had people looking at me with that knowing look, others giving me that I am sorry smile and others who would avoid eye contact all together.
In fact I had to get petrol on my way in and the usually chatty lady behind the counter at our local petrol station was decidedly awkward and avoided eye contact altogether.
I know often this is because people don't know what to do or say!
Anyway back to the plaza - I had to get something from the one shop and had the same eye avoiding experience - just so strange.
When I went to the chemist the girl there was completely different - she just spoke to me and looked at me normally.
So I thought I should thank her - I said to her  I just wanted to say thank you for looking at me when she spoke to me and treating me normally.
She broke into a big smile and then we chatted briefly and she told me she had a friend going through the same thing!!
A short trip to the shops had showed me that another 'gift' with breast cancer is that once you have lost your hair - your diagnosis is now public knowledge and obviously everyone out and about has their own feelings about it too!
I guess thats why you don't see many ladies walking around in headscarves in public etc as each time you are out you are confronted by your illness in yet another way!!

Anyway it certainly doesn't mean I will be staying indoors but was an interesting experience!!
I had planned to pick the girls up from school - so I left the plaza and headed there.
It was great to do something normal together - so they climbed in the car and we headed home.
I have to be honest though after my outing and braving the plaza i was feeling a bit weak and shakey - just have to take it  slow !!

Well it is now raining and windy outside - a movie is definitely on the agenda - I have reconnected with some old friends on FB so I see a very lazy day on the horizon.

Before leaving for school this morning my youngest daughter said to me.
" Mum you know we only get one life so I want to make everyday of this one the best that it can be!"
Wise words from a 9 year old - here's trusting we can all do the same ...........

3 comments:

  1. Hi Debs reading your experience makes one realize just how the world is out there, but keep going my girl, I remember an old preacher telling the story how when he was a young boy being sent out to cut the horses tail and he cut the mane by mistake, expecting a whack from his father he told him what happened, the father said son dont worry, he said hallejuah amen the horses mane will grow again, yours will too if you get the pun Ha Ha. love you my warrior princess.

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  2. Isn't it amazing Debs how life looks so different when you are going through trials and you notice things in others you would never notice. So true that people don't know how to treat you and it can leave you feeling so isolated. B will probably be experiencing the same in a different way. Here's to people learning to not worry about saying the wrong thing - just acknowledging you and your journey. Thinking of you so much. Bless you. Know your blog is already making a difference to others going through this. xxx

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  3. Well Dear, It is indeed another lot of experiences , guess people are afraid and dont know what to do or say . I know this if I see any person who I think is under this dreaded treatment I will make a point of speaking to them , thanks to you and what I also am learning . Love you lots and stay strong this will end . God bless . All my love Dad XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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