Okay so today was the day I had been waiting for - back to surgeon for the results and post -op check!!!
So far this week has required a lot of resting and holding back on activity!!
It is quite frustrating not being able to do the things you are used to!! I am still having a fair amount of pain and discomfort and had been watching a seroma grow under my arm these last few days and was actually looking forward to having a needle stuck in me to drain of the fluid! Amazing what I now look forward to hehe!!
I have joined the BCNA website (breast cancer australia network) where you can connect with other pink ladies!! I have been in communication with a couple of ladies already on the road - it is a great source of information, support and encouragement for the road ahead!!
It is quite incredible to think that in years gone by or indeed in a different setting women would not have been able to connect in this way - what a priviledge to have access to all this info at my finger tips!!
So we arrived at the hospital - I always find it quite emotive going there - when I am home on the farm I can live in my green bubble of tranquility but going to the hospital I am confronted with the reality of my illness and weakness of my body!
We sat again outside the outpatient cubicle waiting for a number to be called - a rather detached nurse called us in to the Drs room where we waited for at least 10 mins - would have been far less anxiety provoking to sit outside with the magazines and tv to distract us rather that sit alone in the quiet of a stark surgical office!!
Anyway the silence was broken when a friendly faced, young dr entered.
My surgeon was not seeing me today but he was here to drain any seroma that may have arisen!!
I had thought about what to wear before arriving today - perhaps it was the Trinny and Susanna marathon I had watched the day before!!
I was feeling quite over the stripping off topless for a string of strangers so worked out if a wore a vest I could slip of the one side and keep some dignity on the other.
I matched this with a button up cardie and scarf that draped over my flat chest - I was pretty pleased with the outcome and even more pleased that I kept some dignity whilst having my wound attended to!!
The Dr took off the dressing which wasn't too bad and then approached me with a rather large needle - thankfully I was still numb under the arm so I didnt feel it going in!
I had to laugh as he brought a rather large plastic jug over to catch the fluid - I wondered how much he intended to take. Images of me shrivelled up like a dried out prune made me giggle.
He told me to look away and off we went - 250mls later my seroma had flattened!!
I was amazed actually how much he did get - I felt so much better without it and could move my arm more easily!!
Unfortunately it seems that next week would require a repeat performance as the fluid would more than likely build up again!!
There were no pathology results to share as the long weekend had slowed that down so we would hear it all next Tuesday along with a treatment plan for the next chapter!
Initially I was a bit dissappointed but probably actually better to get an action plan with the results than do too much googling in between!!
The day concluded with a cuppa with a good friend who picked the girls up and brought them home and then once again meals on friends wheels arrived in style.
We had a yummy dinner and dessert after a relax and catch up with the clever maker and another lovely friend visiting from Sydney!!! Was nice to have some company !
It is such a treat not to worry about cooking - we would be all scrambled eggs and toasted out by now for sure!
This is a funny road - each day brings different feelings , definite ups and downs, somedays the cancer feels so close and others a distant dream.
I think in some ways I thought the recovery from the op wouldn't be as painful and yet it has been but I also realise as much as I don't want to see myself as being unwell - I am.
Although my mind is functioning ( well most of the time anyway - I hear you laughing!!) I have to accept my body is not at its best - and I have to pace myself!!
More relaxing, more reading , more music , more movies, more mess !!!!
I am determined to keep dancing in the rain whenever possible!!
'Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic' Rosalind Russell.
xx
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Monday, 25 April 2011
A Cloudy day .....
Well today the sunshine has disappeared and we woke up to heavy rain and grey skies!!
Unfortunately this was in line with me today.
We had a lovely day yesterday - I had worried that Easter Sunday we would be alone and the girls would be feeling sad that we weren't with our family overseas as we would have arrived there that day. We had to cancel our holiday !!
Thankfully we were rescued by a special couple that my family had known for over 20 years!!
They arrived at lunchtime with a beautiful roast chicken and trimmings - and before our eyes a table of food was prepared and setup for us to enjoy!
After this ,all was cleared away and it looked as if nothing had even happened - amazing!
What a treat - this was followed by coffee, easter eggs, a singsong with guitar and a fun movie!
The girls had a great time as did we and it really did make the day for us!
I have been up and about these last couple of days and doing a bit here and there but still lots of relaxing yet last night my body hit back!!
The pain and discomfort related to the op has been there but manageable - but last night I felt like I had been through a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson.
My wound was burning, I have developed a seroma under my arm, it just was so sore, uncomfortable and I felt like any movement was too much.
I went to bed teary, frustrated and sore!!
So as I say when I looked out the window and saw the pouring rain and grey skies the sun had gone!!
I have spent all day in bed today - books, portable dvd and sleep is what has occupied me.
I still feel uncomfortable but nothing like last night - I am trying to hold out until Wednesday to see the surgeon to have the seroma drained and I'm sure that will relieve the pressure also!
I think my body was sending me back to bed so there I have stayed!!!
To add to our mood we saw a report in the news today about a Dr and family who have been living and working in Australia since 2005 - they put in their application for residency in 2008 but immigration took a while to get to process it! Whilst the application was in the Drs wife developed breast cancer and now sadly she is terminal.
Immigration has advised the Dr that the only way his application for permanent residency will be approved is if he divorces/legally seperates from his wife.
She would then have to return to the Phillipines and he could remain here with his children!!!
I know there may be more to the story than in the report but it doesn't paint a very encouraging picture - does it????
Well this morning I had a few encouraging messages from friends near and far - I certainly needed them today!!
As I write this the skies are returning to blue, the clouds have moved and the rain has stopped.
The sun she is shining on us once more!
I am on the rollarcoaster and we have rolled down a bit this morning but after a day in bed I feel the rollarcoaster rising again - I want to feel the sun on my face even more ...........
I do wish this thing had a steering wheel !!!!!!
Unfortunately this was in line with me today.
We had a lovely day yesterday - I had worried that Easter Sunday we would be alone and the girls would be feeling sad that we weren't with our family overseas as we would have arrived there that day. We had to cancel our holiday !!
Thankfully we were rescued by a special couple that my family had known for over 20 years!!
They arrived at lunchtime with a beautiful roast chicken and trimmings - and before our eyes a table of food was prepared and setup for us to enjoy!
After this ,all was cleared away and it looked as if nothing had even happened - amazing!
What a treat - this was followed by coffee, easter eggs, a singsong with guitar and a fun movie!
The girls had a great time as did we and it really did make the day for us!
I have been up and about these last couple of days and doing a bit here and there but still lots of relaxing yet last night my body hit back!!
The pain and discomfort related to the op has been there but manageable - but last night I felt like I had been through a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson.
My wound was burning, I have developed a seroma under my arm, it just was so sore, uncomfortable and I felt like any movement was too much.
I went to bed teary, frustrated and sore!!
So as I say when I looked out the window and saw the pouring rain and grey skies the sun had gone!!
I have spent all day in bed today - books, portable dvd and sleep is what has occupied me.
I still feel uncomfortable but nothing like last night - I am trying to hold out until Wednesday to see the surgeon to have the seroma drained and I'm sure that will relieve the pressure also!
I think my body was sending me back to bed so there I have stayed!!!
To add to our mood we saw a report in the news today about a Dr and family who have been living and working in Australia since 2005 - they put in their application for residency in 2008 but immigration took a while to get to process it! Whilst the application was in the Drs wife developed breast cancer and now sadly she is terminal.
Immigration has advised the Dr that the only way his application for permanent residency will be approved is if he divorces/legally seperates from his wife.
She would then have to return to the Phillipines and he could remain here with his children!!!
I know there may be more to the story than in the report but it doesn't paint a very encouraging picture - does it????
Well this morning I had a few encouraging messages from friends near and far - I certainly needed them today!!
As I write this the skies are returning to blue, the clouds have moved and the rain has stopped.
The sun she is shining on us once more!
I am on the rollarcoaster and we have rolled down a bit this morning but after a day in bed I feel the rollarcoaster rising again - I want to feel the sun on my face even more ...........
I do wish this thing had a steering wheel !!!!!!
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Fun on the farm - hmm!!!!
Well the days are ticking by - B thought I should brave an outing this am so we went to our local coffee shop for brekkie!!
I had my puffball from the breast nurse - the bra unfortunately wasn't the right size so I had to wait for that - but my amazing husband didn't want me to be uncomfortable if I went out so when he picked the girls from school on Thursday - they went bra shopping - he came home with a perfect substitute to tide me over - what a man!!!!
So out we went - I was balanced at least - amazing you just don't know what is hiding underneath peoples clothing !!!!
We had a lovely brekkie and bumped into a number of people we knew - all doing last minute easter egg buying no doubt!!
It was good to get out but I have to say I was absolutely shattered after and was so glad to get home.
The rest of the day I spent lying around recovering from my expedition!!
Think it might be a few more days until my next one!!
We have been having glorious weather these last few days - so B decided yesterday to take advantage of it and tackle the long grass in the front paddocks with the tractor and the slasher!!
There is something soothing about hearing the rhythm of the tractor mowing amongst the birdsong!!
Yesterday I just lay low resting at home and was listening to the mowing while resting!!
For every wife of a man with a tractor - when the engine sound stops and no husband and tractor returns home - our hearts stop a little also!!
I had a horrible feeling something was amiss - so I got up and went outside to see if I could see B.
I called him - no answer - so I thought I had no option but to walk slow and steady down our long dirt drive to find him.
It is a bit of a walk to the gate and I have to say I was feeling quite worried when I didn't see him and he wasn't replying!!
Well the angels must have been busy that day as almost at the entrance there was the tractor almost vertical down a very steep bank!!
The grass was very long at the entrance and the ground was quite muddy with the rain so the tractor and slasher had slipped down the bank backwards.
It could so easily have jackknifed on itself and the story would have been different!
Thankfully B was unhurt and when I called he and a neighbour appeared from the back! Our neighbour across the way had seen the accident happen and run over and scaled the fence to check on B.
What a relief - if I could post a photo you would know what I mean!
It was all a bit of a shock - well we certainly could do with a bit more drama!!!!!
Anyway all was fine in the end - our neighbour amazingly managed to pull the tractor out with his truck after he and B removed the slasher!
Not long after we sat outside sipping a cold drink - thankful that we were indeed sitting there together!
Unbelievable!!!
Well we are certainly appreciating our days to the full - how easily things can change.
These days are certainly pushing what is truely of value to the fore.
Hold on to those you love with both hands, make the most of every moment , our lives are in the hear and now.
Dont yearn too much for what is to come as great as that may be - yearn to make the best of what is ......
I had my puffball from the breast nurse - the bra unfortunately wasn't the right size so I had to wait for that - but my amazing husband didn't want me to be uncomfortable if I went out so when he picked the girls from school on Thursday - they went bra shopping - he came home with a perfect substitute to tide me over - what a man!!!!
So out we went - I was balanced at least - amazing you just don't know what is hiding underneath peoples clothing !!!!
We had a lovely brekkie and bumped into a number of people we knew - all doing last minute easter egg buying no doubt!!
It was good to get out but I have to say I was absolutely shattered after and was so glad to get home.
The rest of the day I spent lying around recovering from my expedition!!
Think it might be a few more days until my next one!!
We have been having glorious weather these last few days - so B decided yesterday to take advantage of it and tackle the long grass in the front paddocks with the tractor and the slasher!!
There is something soothing about hearing the rhythm of the tractor mowing amongst the birdsong!!
Yesterday I just lay low resting at home and was listening to the mowing while resting!!
For every wife of a man with a tractor - when the engine sound stops and no husband and tractor returns home - our hearts stop a little also!!
I had a horrible feeling something was amiss - so I got up and went outside to see if I could see B.
I called him - no answer - so I thought I had no option but to walk slow and steady down our long dirt drive to find him.
It is a bit of a walk to the gate and I have to say I was feeling quite worried when I didn't see him and he wasn't replying!!
Well the angels must have been busy that day as almost at the entrance there was the tractor almost vertical down a very steep bank!!
The grass was very long at the entrance and the ground was quite muddy with the rain so the tractor and slasher had slipped down the bank backwards.
It could so easily have jackknifed on itself and the story would have been different!
Thankfully B was unhurt and when I called he and a neighbour appeared from the back! Our neighbour across the way had seen the accident happen and run over and scaled the fence to check on B.
What a relief - if I could post a photo you would know what I mean!
It was all a bit of a shock - well we certainly could do with a bit more drama!!!!!
Anyway all was fine in the end - our neighbour amazingly managed to pull the tractor out with his truck after he and B removed the slasher!
Not long after we sat outside sipping a cold drink - thankful that we were indeed sitting there together!
Unbelievable!!!
Well we are certainly appreciating our days to the full - how easily things can change.
These days are certainly pushing what is truely of value to the fore.
Hold on to those you love with both hands, make the most of every moment , our lives are in the hear and now.
Dont yearn too much for what is to come as great as that may be - yearn to make the best of what is ......
Friday, 22 April 2011
What is Faith if not for times such as this!
I have been attempting to fill in the gaps of the days away but today I am just touched by the meaning of Good Friday.
I have been home for 2 full days now and it has been wonderful.
The sun has been shining and the surroundings of the farm are therapeutic for the soul.
I have just been watching a program on the Easter experience - reflections on the lives of those immediately around Jesus on the day of crucifixion!
A beautiful story of real lives! The commentator was saying that for those who loved Him - they may not have expected the pain and suffering in their lives! Yet this pain and suffering did not mean He could not be trusted in all things!
I am one of those real lives - I have been challenged with my circumstances to trust no matter what.
Of what value is our faith if we cannot draw upon it in pain and suffering!
This is not a road I would have chosen and I know that I am still at the beginning of it and yet I know that I am not travelling it alone. In these first steps I have had such profound and deeply positive experiences that it is as if living a life in parallel. Darkness and light !.
The night before I was going to see the surgeon to decide on whether to have to mastectomy or a more conservative option I was having trouble sleeping!
I had gone to bed but woken up again close to midnight and was having trouble getting back to sleep - I went to the computer and started to google info related to the 2 options and praying for wisdom!
As a sat there an email came through - I heard the message beep and went to have a look to see who it was from.
It was just a circular email sent from a ecard company but the little note was about fighting battles - it was filled with encouragement and hope and then just below this was a sample ecard.
All I could see was a picture of a butterfly so I clicked on it and this is what it said!
You are a fighter, a survivor
A woman of faith and strength
You are a tough opponent for any challenge
Even the big C is no match for you
because you belong to an even bigger C "Christ"
Well you can imagine how amazing it was to read this - how it had come through after midnight while I was sitting at the computer.
I went to bed and slept peacefully after that.
There is nothing like challenging circumstances to strip away our being , to leave us exposed and vulnerable yet in this can come great freedom!
The love of our heavenly father is not dictated too by circumstances - in fact in the midst of the most challenging circumstances, we can know that love more deeply than ever before!
Though a host encamp against me
My heart shall not fear
Though war rise against me
Even then I will be confident
For in the day of trouble
He will hide me in His shelter
In the secret place of His tent will He hide me
He will set me high upon a rock.....
We had some interesting goings on at the farm today but that will be a story for tomorrow.
Happy Easter ..........
I have been home for 2 full days now and it has been wonderful.
The sun has been shining and the surroundings of the farm are therapeutic for the soul.
I have just been watching a program on the Easter experience - reflections on the lives of those immediately around Jesus on the day of crucifixion!
A beautiful story of real lives! The commentator was saying that for those who loved Him - they may not have expected the pain and suffering in their lives! Yet this pain and suffering did not mean He could not be trusted in all things!
I am one of those real lives - I have been challenged with my circumstances to trust no matter what.
Of what value is our faith if we cannot draw upon it in pain and suffering!
This is not a road I would have chosen and I know that I am still at the beginning of it and yet I know that I am not travelling it alone. In these first steps I have had such profound and deeply positive experiences that it is as if living a life in parallel. Darkness and light !.
The night before I was going to see the surgeon to decide on whether to have to mastectomy or a more conservative option I was having trouble sleeping!
I had gone to bed but woken up again close to midnight and was having trouble getting back to sleep - I went to the computer and started to google info related to the 2 options and praying for wisdom!
As a sat there an email came through - I heard the message beep and went to have a look to see who it was from.
It was just a circular email sent from a ecard company but the little note was about fighting battles - it was filled with encouragement and hope and then just below this was a sample ecard.
All I could see was a picture of a butterfly so I clicked on it and this is what it said!
You are a fighter, a survivor
A woman of faith and strength
You are a tough opponent for any challenge
Even the big C is no match for you
because you belong to an even bigger C "Christ"
Well you can imagine how amazing it was to read this - how it had come through after midnight while I was sitting at the computer.
I went to bed and slept peacefully after that.
There is nothing like challenging circumstances to strip away our being , to leave us exposed and vulnerable yet in this can come great freedom!
The love of our heavenly father is not dictated too by circumstances - in fact in the midst of the most challenging circumstances, we can know that love more deeply than ever before!
Though a host encamp against me
My heart shall not fear
Though war rise against me
Even then I will be confident
For in the day of trouble
He will hide me in His shelter
In the secret place of His tent will He hide me
He will set me high upon a rock.....
We had some interesting goings on at the farm today but that will be a story for tomorrow.
Happy Easter ..........
Home sweet home!!!
So I was waiting with eager anticipation for the surgeons to do their rounds and give me my exit ticket!!
And they did - I was allowed to go if I felt up to it and would return next week for a follow-up on the wound and to talk about results.
I felt a relief to be going home and although I didn't particularily know why I felt quite teary that morning!
When B came to pick me up it was great just to have a hug and we gathered all my bits and pieces, cards and flowers and headed for the car!
I still felt a bit out of it and was looking forward to relaxing at home.
The breast care nurse had not come to see me before my discharge and my darling husband was concerned that I was being sent away without my new bra?prosthesis etc so he called her from the car and made an appointment for me to see her the next morning!!!
I felt a wonderful sense of relief as we arrived at the farm gate - we were home!
I have to again sing the praises of my man - he had a most beautiful card waiting for me when I got in - and tenderly got me settled back home!
We have had all sorts of stress earlier in the year related to B's work and our visa etc and yet despite all that he has really been a pillar of strength to me! I am very blessed !
B had to go to work from lunchtime so I had called on another dear friend to stay with me. She too was greeted with a few tears - it was just great to see her also!
I was pretty exhausted through the lack of sleep the night before and I guess my tear ducts needed a work out!!
We just hung out together talking and not talking as I slothed on the sofa! I do not take for granted the incredible people in my life! Friends who are happy to see you at your worst, to just be with you just because, to organise a number of weeks meals and delivery without your knowledge, to think about things you haven't , it goes on and on.........
To friends near and far who are praying, encouraging and doing bits to help me on this road - I truely thank you .
Time passed quickly up to school pickup - my friend went to pick up her kiddies as awaited mine to return with another friend.
It was a happy reunion with the girls they were just glad to have me back with them - although they have been handling things well under the circumstances - it was really tough for them having me in hospital!
I could see the change in their faces - they gave me a big hug and then went off to play with my friends daughter - so that was great.
My friend stayed with me for a while and we just relaxed until B was due to come home!!
That night we had a wonderful meal that had been prepared and delivered earlier in the day . What a treat not to have to worry about cooking!!!
It was early to bed for me - and my bed had never felt so good.
Home sweet home ...... oh yes !!!!!!
And they did - I was allowed to go if I felt up to it and would return next week for a follow-up on the wound and to talk about results.
I felt a relief to be going home and although I didn't particularily know why I felt quite teary that morning!
When B came to pick me up it was great just to have a hug and we gathered all my bits and pieces, cards and flowers and headed for the car!
I still felt a bit out of it and was looking forward to relaxing at home.
The breast care nurse had not come to see me before my discharge and my darling husband was concerned that I was being sent away without my new bra?prosthesis etc so he called her from the car and made an appointment for me to see her the next morning!!!
I felt a wonderful sense of relief as we arrived at the farm gate - we were home!
I have to again sing the praises of my man - he had a most beautiful card waiting for me when I got in - and tenderly got me settled back home!
We have had all sorts of stress earlier in the year related to B's work and our visa etc and yet despite all that he has really been a pillar of strength to me! I am very blessed !
B had to go to work from lunchtime so I had called on another dear friend to stay with me. She too was greeted with a few tears - it was just great to see her also!
I was pretty exhausted through the lack of sleep the night before and I guess my tear ducts needed a work out!!
We just hung out together talking and not talking as I slothed on the sofa! I do not take for granted the incredible people in my life! Friends who are happy to see you at your worst, to just be with you just because, to organise a number of weeks meals and delivery without your knowledge, to think about things you haven't , it goes on and on.........
To friends near and far who are praying, encouraging and doing bits to help me on this road - I truely thank you .
Time passed quickly up to school pickup - my friend went to pick up her kiddies as awaited mine to return with another friend.
It was a happy reunion with the girls they were just glad to have me back with them - although they have been handling things well under the circumstances - it was really tough for them having me in hospital!
I could see the change in their faces - they gave me a big hug and then went off to play with my friends daughter - so that was great.
My friend stayed with me for a while and we just relaxed until B was due to come home!!
That night we had a wonderful meal that had been prepared and delivered earlier in the day . What a treat not to have to worry about cooking!!!
It was early to bed for me - and my bed had never felt so good.
Home sweet home ...... oh yes !!!!!!
Thursday, 21 April 2011
I have my puffball !
Well I am the proud owner of my first prothesis - sounds fancy doesn't it. The truth is I have a cotton triangle filled with what I can only describe as soft toy stuffing!!! This will be my substitute until I get the real shebang!!!
Anyway I have run ahead of myself. Still filling in the gaps..
So I had woken up in recovery - all a bit of a blur really - I shall not go into too much detail about the first day as unfortunately recovering from the anaesthetic took a while, I was spaced out, teary and vomiing for most of the day. I had a drain in, intravenous line in and oxygen on the go. Needless to say when my poor family came later that afternoon they got a bit of a shock!!
I was struggling to keep my eyes open when they came and these 3 worried faces looked at me - c kept saying mum I didn't think you would look this bad with tears streaming down her usually joyful little face, A and B just looked a bit shellshocked and my slurred words didn't offer much comfort!!
They didnt stay long and then went to a dear friends for dinner - I was so thankful they weren't heading home alone with their worries!!
After feeding my precious family my poor friend arrived back at the hospital to see me and help me into my pj's!
I was still suffering the effects of being under GA when she arrived later that evening!
It is a good friend that can stand beside you as you throw up continuously , bring a wet cloth to mop your brow and help wiggle you out of an oversized theatre gown into your own comfy pj's.
Thankfully she has nursing under her belt but her patients are usually baby size and we are more used to laughing over a cuppa together as opposed to this scenerio!!
I was so thankful for her being there to settle me for the night!!
The ward I was in was mixed as often the case her in Oz. I had 3 men in the beds opposite me and 2 ladies to the side. I did have a window seat on this flight which was good!
You soon have to throw all selfconciousness to the wind with this set -up. There I was behind the curtain - one breast missing trying to go to the loo on a commode in the silence of a multi sexed ward!
But I did it - yeha!!!
The first day was tough but I am pleased to say - day 2 was a lot brighter. Amazing how much better you feel after a nights sleep and some breakfast! I had walked to the loo in the night - so was up and about which was good - didn't fancy a repeat behind the curtain experience!!
I had colour in my cheeks and lay looking out the window at the pouring rain - glad I wasn't missing out on sunshine .
I had been unsure how I would feel after the op especially when I had to look at the wound etc but I have to say it was much better than I had thought. I am not even sure what I had expected but the very neatly stitched wound across my chest to arm did not shock me as I had thought it might!
It was so neat and clean and in a sense I did feel that relief at having the cancerous parts taken away!
It was sore but not unbareable - I really felt again such a sense that everything was going to be okay!!
I was looking forward to seeing the girls later as at least today they would leave with a different picture in their minds when they returned home.
They did visit and we were able to have a cuddle which was great , C was fascinated to see the blood in the drain, peered at the wound over and over and asked me how long it would be until my boob grew back!!! Too funny!
There had been talk before the op of me going home the day after but my drain was still filling quite a bit so I was to stay another night!!
I didn't sleep so well that night - I guess the GA had worn off enough by then - so I lay awake off and on listening to the sweet sounds of hospital nightlife - bells going off , patients shuffling to the toilet , gaseous explosions from someone in my room, nurses nattering so by the morning I was wrecked!!!
I have to say the night staff were great though - one of the male nurses was particularily on th ball - I had to laugh as the first night I met him the ward lights were off and he came to check my drip! I was blinded by what I can only describe as a miners headlamp - he didn't carry a torch - went for the hands free option - very practical but very funny!!!
So day 2 had come and gone and I was hoping to go home .......
Anyway I have run ahead of myself. Still filling in the gaps..
So I had woken up in recovery - all a bit of a blur really - I shall not go into too much detail about the first day as unfortunately recovering from the anaesthetic took a while, I was spaced out, teary and vomiing for most of the day. I had a drain in, intravenous line in and oxygen on the go. Needless to say when my poor family came later that afternoon they got a bit of a shock!!
I was struggling to keep my eyes open when they came and these 3 worried faces looked at me - c kept saying mum I didn't think you would look this bad with tears streaming down her usually joyful little face, A and B just looked a bit shellshocked and my slurred words didn't offer much comfort!!
They didnt stay long and then went to a dear friends for dinner - I was so thankful they weren't heading home alone with their worries!!
After feeding my precious family my poor friend arrived back at the hospital to see me and help me into my pj's!
I was still suffering the effects of being under GA when she arrived later that evening!
It is a good friend that can stand beside you as you throw up continuously , bring a wet cloth to mop your brow and help wiggle you out of an oversized theatre gown into your own comfy pj's.
Thankfully she has nursing under her belt but her patients are usually baby size and we are more used to laughing over a cuppa together as opposed to this scenerio!!
I was so thankful for her being there to settle me for the night!!
The ward I was in was mixed as often the case her in Oz. I had 3 men in the beds opposite me and 2 ladies to the side. I did have a window seat on this flight which was good!
You soon have to throw all selfconciousness to the wind with this set -up. There I was behind the curtain - one breast missing trying to go to the loo on a commode in the silence of a multi sexed ward!
But I did it - yeha!!!
The first day was tough but I am pleased to say - day 2 was a lot brighter. Amazing how much better you feel after a nights sleep and some breakfast! I had walked to the loo in the night - so was up and about which was good - didn't fancy a repeat behind the curtain experience!!
I had colour in my cheeks and lay looking out the window at the pouring rain - glad I wasn't missing out on sunshine .
I had been unsure how I would feel after the op especially when I had to look at the wound etc but I have to say it was much better than I had thought. I am not even sure what I had expected but the very neatly stitched wound across my chest to arm did not shock me as I had thought it might!
It was so neat and clean and in a sense I did feel that relief at having the cancerous parts taken away!
It was sore but not unbareable - I really felt again such a sense that everything was going to be okay!!
I was looking forward to seeing the girls later as at least today they would leave with a different picture in their minds when they returned home.
They did visit and we were able to have a cuddle which was great , C was fascinated to see the blood in the drain, peered at the wound over and over and asked me how long it would be until my boob grew back!!! Too funny!
There had been talk before the op of me going home the day after but my drain was still filling quite a bit so I was to stay another night!!
I didn't sleep so well that night - I guess the GA had worn off enough by then - so I lay awake off and on listening to the sweet sounds of hospital nightlife - bells going off , patients shuffling to the toilet , gaseous explosions from someone in my room, nurses nattering so by the morning I was wrecked!!!
I have to say the night staff were great though - one of the male nurses was particularily on th ball - I had to laugh as the first night I met him the ward lights were off and he came to check my drip! I was blinded by what I can only describe as a miners headlamp - he didn't carry a torch - went for the hands free option - very practical but very funny!!!
So day 2 had come and gone and I was hoping to go home .......
The deed is done !!!!!
Well I am home - 3 days post mastectomy and I am attempting to type !!!! I shall attempt to fill in the gaps piece by piece!
The sun is shining today and it is great to be home !! Absolutely nothing like being in your own bed.....
So Monday was the day - after a pretty restless nights sleep B and I headed to the hospital after dropping of the girls. C was still happy to go to school but A didn't think she could do it, so she spent the day with some lovely friends!!
Well it was a grey and rainy day on Monday - the signing in for surgery was a trail from room to room filing in info etc as we went. Finally we ended in a waiting room outside the operating theatres - after a kiss goodbye I was taken by a nurse in scrubs to get changed. my clothes were put in a bag and along with my bits I had brought in put on the luggage trolley to go to the ward! How I wished I was at the airport instead!!
After a few more questions and blood pressure etc - I had my very stylish embolism socks put on and was led into yet another waiting room where a number of equally glamourous people in theatre gowns sat watching the telly!
I was given a warmed blanket to snuggle under to comfort me as I waited for my name to be called!
The lady sitting next to me asked me if I was going for a colonoscopy too ? I said I wish I was and told her what lay ahead!
Amazingly it turned out she had just finished her 5 year treatment for breast cancer - was now working as a liason officer for a local support group and invited me to join them for a kayaking outing in a few months where a sea of pink ladies would be celebrating surviving breast cancer!!
She was really lovely and again how amazing that she should be sitting in the pre-op area waiting with me before my mastectomy!!
Not long after that the anaethatist came in to see me - he was really lovely and we had a bit of a laugh as I told him of my epidural that had numbed my top cheeks instead of the bottom ones and my spinal that also did a few weird things so when he offered me this fancy new injection in the back for chronic pain - I gracefully declined considering my track record!!
Shortly after seeing him I was called for the main performance - with in no time I was put to sleep in a little room directly outside the operating theatre I was going into , and the next thing I knew I had woken up in recovery!!
The deed had been done ..........
The sun is shining today and it is great to be home !! Absolutely nothing like being in your own bed.....
So Monday was the day - after a pretty restless nights sleep B and I headed to the hospital after dropping of the girls. C was still happy to go to school but A didn't think she could do it, so she spent the day with some lovely friends!!
Well it was a grey and rainy day on Monday - the signing in for surgery was a trail from room to room filing in info etc as we went. Finally we ended in a waiting room outside the operating theatres - after a kiss goodbye I was taken by a nurse in scrubs to get changed. my clothes were put in a bag and along with my bits I had brought in put on the luggage trolley to go to the ward! How I wished I was at the airport instead!!
After a few more questions and blood pressure etc - I had my very stylish embolism socks put on and was led into yet another waiting room where a number of equally glamourous people in theatre gowns sat watching the telly!
I was given a warmed blanket to snuggle under to comfort me as I waited for my name to be called!
The lady sitting next to me asked me if I was going for a colonoscopy too ? I said I wish I was and told her what lay ahead!
Amazingly it turned out she had just finished her 5 year treatment for breast cancer - was now working as a liason officer for a local support group and invited me to join them for a kayaking outing in a few months where a sea of pink ladies would be celebrating surviving breast cancer!!
She was really lovely and again how amazing that she should be sitting in the pre-op area waiting with me before my mastectomy!!
Not long after that the anaethatist came in to see me - he was really lovely and we had a bit of a laugh as I told him of my epidural that had numbed my top cheeks instead of the bottom ones and my spinal that also did a few weird things so when he offered me this fancy new injection in the back for chronic pain - I gracefully declined considering my track record!!
Shortly after seeing him I was called for the main performance - with in no time I was put to sleep in a little room directly outside the operating theatre I was going into , and the next thing I knew I had woken up in recovery!!
The deed had been done ..........
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